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     The Giant Blue Bowling Ball slowly rolled across the battlefield toward the Neon Orange Thing with the big floppy mouth and writhing mass of tentacles.  Desperately, the Neon Orange Thing hurled pellets at the ball as it came relentlessly forward.
     Then there was a flash, and a Four legged Red Jet plowed the rear of the Bowling Ball, cracking the ball's surface.  The Neon Orange Thing, sensing a kill, closed in.  Panicked, the Bowling Ball whipped around, and flattening one of the wings of the Red Jet.  The Orange Thing lashed out with its tentacles, grasping the ball firmly. With a mighty heave, the Orange Thing hurled the Bowling Ball into the air.  It sailed up and hurled down, splitting into pieces as it hit the ground.
     Turning from the destruction, the Red Jet grinned as it sighted the Orange Thing.  "Feeling lucky today?"  it asked, and charged.
 

What is Claydonia?
    A claydonia is many things.  It is a chance for friends to meet and have good time.  It can be a serious philosophical discussion on the meaning of modeling clay.  It is a means of artistic expression.  It is a ritualistic gathering of Claydonians to watch the violent destruction of others of their species.  But, most of all, it is a silly game involving modeling clay miniatures.

What do I need to have a Claydonia?
     First, you need a group of people willing to be silly and have fun playing with modeling clay. (Congratulations, you are now surrounded by them!)  Next, you need these rules or something like them. (We at Adeptus Ineptus have provided this.)  Then, you need pencils, paper, and numerous six sided dice for each player.  (You're on your own here.).  Finally, you need one can of modeling clay for each player.  Utterly unscientific testing has shown that Play-Doh Modeling Compound is well suited for use in a Claydonia.  It is easily shaped, comes packaged in the proper amounts, and has pleasing, brilliant colors.

How do I create a Claydonian?
     After you have assembled the items listed above, find a large smooth space on which to play.  This could be several tables pushed together or a smooth floor.  Do not play in a place where you don't want to have bits of modeling clay about.  After you have found a place to play and have assembled your friends, give each on e a can of modeling clay.  Try to let each player have the color he or she wants.  After giving out the clay, tell the players the following:

     "You have twenty minutes in which to make a creature out of you modeling clay.  You may create anything you want, so long as it does not collapse at the slightest  touch.  You don't have to use all of your clay, any clay you don't use may be shaped into missiles of any size and shape you want.  You may not trade clay with another player, use your own clay.  When you have finished making you Claydonian, let me know."

     After telling your players this, let them go to it.  Do not tell them any more about what will happen except that it will be a miniatures game.  Encourage creativity.  As each player finishes his or her creation, you must assign the creation it's powers. (Your GM will assign your powers to you, with the exceptions of your "Secret" power.)

How do I assign powers?
     There are six categories of powers that must be assigned to each Claydonian:  movement, number of attacks, "to hit" number, damage, hit points, and special powers.  Each one requires that you make a judgment about the creation of the player.  The following are guidelines for assigning the powers; you may alter them as you see fit.

     Movement:  All movement is measured in spans of the player's outstretched hand, from tip of thumb to tip of little finger.  The following table gives the basic movement rates.
 

     Note that a "leg is any type of movement producing appendage the Claydonian might have, even if it is a wheel.  (The total number of  "legs" must be equivalent in size to you Claydonian's largest attacking limb to take advantage of full movement.  That is , if you have a 4 die limb, and 5 legs there must be 4 "dice of clay in your legs in order to move 4 spans.

     Number of attacks:  Look at the creation carefully.  How many limbs can it use for attacking?  This is the number of attacks it can make each turn.  However, this number should never be more that four. You may use your legs for attack, but they cannot be used for movement if you do so.  Also, you must always have 2 legs planted on the ground if you're going to kick someone.

     Chance to hit: A Claydonian's basic chance to hit is 8 or greater on 2 six sided dice.  If the creature has big limbs or a big mouth, the chance to hit is reduced by one to a 7.  If the creature has a real big limbs or mouth, or uses its entire body in an attack, reduce the chance to hit by 2 to a 6.  You decide just  how big is "big", or "real big".

     Damage: The base damage done in any attack is one 6 sided die's worth of points.  If the limbs are large, say about 3-5 marble sized pieces worth, 1 to 2 more dice may be added to this.  If the limbs are very large, say about 1/3 to 1/2 the can, 3 more dice may be added.  If the attack is an absolute Killer, say 3/4 to all the can, up to five dice may be added to the base attack die.  As usual, you can decide all final attack values.  If you're getting the idea that this is not a very exact game, you have the right idea.  You're playing with clay monster right?  Who needs to be exact?

     Hit Points:  Look at the creature and compare it to the amount of clay kept aside to use for missiles.  If the entire can of clay was used to form the creature, it has 50 hit points.  If half was used to missiles, the creature will have 25 hit points.  Assign hit points based on the fraction of clay used to form missiles.  If 25% of the clay is used for missiles, knock 25% off of 50 to find the creatures hit points.   This is another judgment call of you part as the referee.

     Special Powers:  Each creation gets on special power.  It may be from the list below, or it can be one you make up, subject to GM's approval.  If you make it up, it is recommended that you create a power that will affect modeling clay in some harmless way.  The following power, to be found in the powers section of this document, may be assigned randomly by rolling a die or may be chosen by you to match the creature in some way.

How do I play the game?
     Once all the players have created their Claydonia, and have had powers assigned to them, have them gather around the playing area.  Have the players space themselves at equal distances from each other.  Each player should them roll three six sided dice to find his or her initiative number.  Ties should be rolled off.  Be sure each player notes his initiative number.  After this is done, explain the What Do I Do, How Do I Move, How Do I shoot, How Do I Attack, and How Do I Win rules to the players.  Once everyone understands what is going on. Begin the game.

What do I do?
     The Claydonia is played in turns.  A player gets to move his creation once during each turn.  At several points during a turn, a player may have the opportunity to attack.  Each player takes his move in the order of the initiative rolls, going from highest to lowest.  The sequence of a player's move is as follows:

         1.  Move your creation up to it's full movement.

         2.  Fire up to 3 missiles at targets of your choice.

         3.  Attack any creature to which your Claydonian is adjacent, provided you have attacks left to use.

         4.  The other players, or players may counterattack against your creature, provided they have any attacks left.

     Each player follows this sequence, in order of initiative, until the player is out of the game or the game is over.  Initiative is rerolled every turn.

How does my Claydonian move?
     To move your creature, use your hand to measure the distance the Claydonian moves, starting from the front of the creature.  If there is no discernible front, begin measuring in the direction the creature last moved.  There is no terrain in the game, though you can add some if you like.  Thus, except when turning, or planning to use it's legs in an attack, a creature will always be able to move up to its full movement.
     Note that if some people feel that the hand span measuring system is unfair, or grossly inaccurate, you may then enforce the Uniformity Rule.  The Uniformity Rule states that all distances will be measured by the referee's hands.  However, this will slow down the play of the game, and place a great deal of work in the hands of the referee.
     If a part of a creation comes off during movement, the player is allowed to put that piece back on his creation at no penalty.  Falling apart is best done under combat conditions.

How does my Claydonian shoot?
     At the end of movement, each player is allowed to shoot up to 3 of his missiles.  A missile may only be used once.  After it is fired, it is removed from play.  If a player does not have any missiles, he may not fire any.  To fire a missile, the player stands anywhere within 3-4 feet of his own positions at the table.  The player may not move to a different area of the battlefield;  he must fire his missiles from the point where his creation began the game.  After the player has his position, have him name his target.   Players cannot attack a group of monsters:  only one will do.
     have the player throw his missile, attempting to hit the target.  make it clear to the thrower that how hard the missile is thrown has NO effect on the amount of damage done.  It is only the SIZE of the missile that matters.  It is a wise idea to have someone stand directly opposite that thrower to catch long shots, and bounces.  If the thrower manages to hit his declared target, the missile has hit.  If the thrower hits a different creature, the shot is a miss no matter what happens.  The attacked player is allowed to reattach any parts of his Claydonian that come off due to the missile's hits, unless a special power dictates otherwise.  If the missile missed, the shot is no good.
     If a missile hits its target, you must determine the amount of damage done by the missile.  The base damage for a missile is one 6 sided die for something about the size of a marble.  Missiles smaller that this may do less damage.  Missiles larger than this should do proportionately greater damage, up to 5 dice.

How does my Claydonian attack?
     Each Claydonian is assigned a number of attacks it can make in one turn, based upon the number of manipulative limbs it has.  These attacks can be used for attacks or counter attacks.  If a creation has used all of its attacks, it may not make any more attacks for counterattacks for the rest of the turn.
     If your creation is adjacent to an enemy, you may make an attack.  "Adjacent" is defined as being within the reach of your creation's arms.  We define "adjacent" as being within one hand width of each other.  You may attack as many times as you have attacks, provided you have not used any of your attacks to make counterattacks.
     To make an attack, you must announce your target and the dice of damage dome by the attack.  Then roll two dice.  IF the dice roll is equal or greater than your "to hit" number, you have hit with your target with your attack.
     After all attacks have been resolved, against one target, count the number of dice of damage from all those successful attacks.  Roll the dice and add them together to find the total amount of damage caused.  The player whose creature was the target of the attack should subtract this amounts from his creation's hit points.  If the creation's hit points reach zero, the creation is dead.

How does my Claydonian Counterattack?
     A Claydonian may counter attack if it is attacked by another creation during the combat phase.  To counterattack, the Claydonian must have a few attacks left and must survive the attacks against the creature that just attacked it.  The counterattacks are handled as if they were normal attacks.  A Claydonian may use its special power in a counterattack.  You may only make as many counterattacks as the creation which attacked made on you.

What happens when my Claydonian dies?
     Ah, this particular question has plagued the Claydonian philosophers for centuries.  Several scurrilous theories have been presented, including the concepts of drying out or being eaten by small children or dogs.  However, in watching the deaths of several Claydonians on the field of battle, a common belief has arisen.  Most Claydonians feel that when one of their kind dies, a large hand reaches from the heavens and squeezes the Claydonian through its fingers.  This act is almost always accompanied by a horrible scream that echoes through the heavens.

How do I win?
     This depends on why you are playing this game in the first place.  If you are playing to have fun, you win if you get really silly.  If you are playing to be competitive and to beat out everyone else, you win if your creation is the last surviving Claydonian of the battlefield.  Since only one person can win the second way, it's a lot nicer to play for the first reason.
 
 

SPECIAL POWERS: For all purposes a Standard "To-Hit" roll is a 7 or higher on two dice
 

The Drop

Made in place of one normal attack.  If a hit is successfully made, you may then lift the target in ot the air and drop it 3 feet.  Afterwards, the GM will decide the amount of damage caused based on what happened.

The Bowl

This power works like the drop, except that you roll the target across the battlefield. This attack will only do damage to the creature affected.  Other creatures hit by The Bowl are considered to have defended

The Poke

When a hit is made, you poke the target hard with your finger, making a nice hole in it.  Then the GM will decide the amount of damage.

Reshape One Limb

This power is used in place of a normal attack.  If it hits successfully, the attacking player may alter the shape of any one limb of the target as he pleases.  As referee, you should be ready to assign damage or alter powers because of this change.  This is a very powerful ability.  With it you can slowly reduce or eliminate the attacks and movement of your opponents.

The Blob  Of Death

This power may only be used by a creature with missiles.  The player may designate one of the missiles to be his Blob of Death.  It is fired like a normal missile.  If it scores a hit, you should take your fist and give the target one solid smash to show the effects of the missile.  After doing this, assign damage based on the consequences.  Only one Blob of Death per game is allowed.

Rip Limbs Off

When the creature rolls an 11 or 12 on a normal attack, the player may tear one of his opponent's limbs off.  Though this attack causes no damage to the target in terms of lost hit points, you should be ready to note any changes to the target's power.

Change Places

In addition to a normal attack on a successful hit, creatures with this power may change places with any opponent on the board, or may change the places of any tow other creatures on the board.  The creature may not move in the same turn if it uses this power.

Move Out  of Turn

Creatures with this power may move at any initiative point in the turn.  They simply announce that they wish to move.  They many not move in the middle of another player's turn.

Use Opponent As A missile

If all of an attacker's limbs hit a target, he may pick his target up and use it as a missile against a third opponent.  The missile is fired normally, and you as referee should assess damage to both the missile and the target.  The missile should not be thrown too hard.  It will take damage regardless of whether or not you hit the target, but the target take no damage from a miss.

Divide Self

This power should only be given to creatures that can easily divide into two sections. Each half has half the powers of the normal creature at the time of division.  Half the hit points, movement, and attack damage, but the special power will remain.  No attacks will ever go lower than 1 die, but there is no minimum for hit points.

Borrow Power

In addition to all normal attacks, a successful hit by this creature allows it to use the special power belonging to the creature it hits, if the attacker wants to do so.  The decision must be made immediately or the borrowed power will be lost until another successful hit is made.  The player with this power should not be told what the powers of other creatures are.  He can only learn this by observation.  If someone borrows a power and is not sure what he borrows, he will tell the GM what power he is trying to use, and after the attempt will be told whether or not it worked.  You cannot absorb a power twice.

Missile  Absorption

When hit by a missile, a claydonian with this power rolls 2d6 and compares the result to the "to hit" number. 6 for small, 7 for medium, and 8 for large missiles.  If the result is over the "to hit" number, then the Claydonian takes no damage from the missile, and may add the projectile to it's body mass.  For each missile smaller that 2 hit points for each marble sized missile absorbed, 3 hit points for any missile up to golf ball size, and 4 hit points for any missile over golf ball sized.  This power does not allow a Claydonian to absorb the following:  an opponent, a poke, a Blob f Death, and anything larger that fist size.  In addition, they just add to the bulk of a claydonian.  If the Claydonian does not make its "to hit" roll, it takes half damage from the missile, and does not absorb it.  note that a claydonian my not absorb missiles that it throws at itself, and it takes full damage from a missile if it does so.

Regenerate

A Claydonian with this ability regenerates 1d6 hit points of damage per turn.  This ability allows the Claydonian to replace lost hit points only, it does not create new ones.

Drain Power

A Claydonian with this power may drain one power from another Claydonian fro 6 turns.  Using this power takes the place of 3 attacks. To drain a power, the player must choose an opponent adjacent to his own Claydonian and make a successful "to hit" roll, target number 8.  If unsuccessful, the power is wasted.  This power may be used once every 5 turns.

Create Limb

A Claydonian with this power may create a temporary limb. This temporary limb may replace on normal attack for a small to normal size limb.  It may replace 2 attacks for a large sized limb, and it may replace 3 normal attacks for a very large sized limb.  This temporary limb lasts for 4 turns, and it hits and does damage according to its size.  So, if your Claydonian already has 4 limbs, it could have 5 normal attacks per turn by adding a temporary limb.  3 limitations 1: You must have enough body mass to create the temporary limb; 2: Remember how many attacks it takes to make the limb; 3:  The new limb cannot be used until the next turn.

Repel

This power may be used by a desperate Claydonian in place of all attacks. No "to hit" roll is needed, and the results are immediate. When this power is used, all opponents must move their maximum movement  ranges away from the user for 1 turn.  This power may be used every third turn.

Endurance

The Claydonian with this power takes only half damage from all attacks.  Round all fractions down.

Stomp

This deadly attack may be used only once in a gaming session.  In addition, the Claydonian using this power is unable to take any action for two turn thereafter.  The attacker chooses an opponent adjacent to him and rolls to hit, target number 8.  If a successful hit is made, the player takes one of his shoes, and give the opponent a good solid WHACK! with it.  Damage should be determined by the amount of the opponent flattened.  Totally flattened Claydonians are left with only 1 hit point.  More than one Claydonian may be affected by this mode of attack, including the attacking Claydonian.  If the attacker somehow misses, it still suffers the exhaustive effects of the blow.  Smart players will wear mountain boots, moon boots, or track shoes for this attack.  Snow shoes, or skis are not allowed.

Toss

A Claydonian with the Toss ability may use this power in place of all attacks.  The attacker chooses an adjacent Claydonian and rolls the "to hit" dice, target number 8.  If successful, the player picks up the opponent's Claydonian and tosses it not farther than the gaming area.  If the opponent is tossed off or out of the gaming area, it may reshape itself, regain all lost hit points, and reappear in the gaming area anywhere it chooses.  The number of hit points lost must be determined by the referee.  this number depends on the amount of structural damage sustained.  Tossing an opponent at the ceiling is legal as long as the opponent lands in the gaming area.  If the opponent is tossed against the ceiling and hits the game surface, 20-30 hit points of damage are taken.  If the opponent sticks to the ceiling, the Claydonian is out of the game until it falls.  If it never falls and dries up instead, consider it dead.  As a final not on this attack, if a tossed Claydonian hits another Claydonian, only the tossed Claydonian takes damage.

Catch

When something is thrown at a Claydonian with this power, the Claydonian makes a "to hit" roll, target number 8.  If successful, the Claydonian catches the item thrown at it.  If the item happens to be a missile, the Claydonian catching it can reuse the missile.  If the thrown item is a Claydonian, the target Claydonian catches it and takes no damage.  If the Claydonian is unsuccessful in its "to hit" roll, it take full damage from the missile.

Teleport

A Claydonian can use this power in place of all it's missile attacks.  The Claydonian with this ability can reappear anywhere on the game surface and if possible attack right away.  To teleport, the player must specify any vacant spot on the game surface that he wants his Claydonian to occupy.  The player then rolls the "to hit" dice, target number 8.  If unsuccessful, the player then must roll 1d6 twice.  The first die roll determines the direction in which the Claydonian teleported.  The second die determines the distance in number of hands that the Claydonian moves.  If a Claydonian teleports himself off the table, he may reenter on his next turn  from his original starting point.

Use Self As Missile

This power allows a player to throw his Claydonian in the same way one would throw a missile.  The referee will assess the damage take by both the missile, and the target.

Trade

In a desperate situation, a Claydonian with this power can choose an opponent in an adjacent area and make a "to hit" roll, target number 8.  If successful, the player trades his Claydonian for the target Claydonian.  This power may only be used once per game in place of all attacks for that turn.  The player plays the new Claydonian with its shape, hit points, attacks, and movement, but retains his former Claydonian's power, but is now stuck with your Claydonians body.

Speed

A Claydonian with this power can double its movement for one turn in place of an attack.

Paralyze

On a successful "to hit" roll, target number 8, a claydonian can cause an adjacent opponent to stop moving and attacking for 2 rounds.  This attacks takes the place of all normal attacks.  The paralyzed Claydonian cannot initiate any action for 2 rounds.  This power can be used every 3 turns.

Slam

A Claydonian with the Slam ability may use this power in place of all attacks.  The attacker chooses an adjacent Claydonian and rolls the "to hit" dice, target number 8.  If successful, the player picks up the opponent's Claydonian and throws him into the play field.  Damage is given out as with the toss ability.  Please note: The slam does NOT do any damage to other Claydonians, just the target. Also slams may be wind milled, but released must be at shoulder level. You may stand on a chair, if you wish.

     Players who win Claydonia game sessions may wish to keep their Claydonians and use them in future game session.  A long lived Claydonian deserves some reward for surviving these silly battles.  The Campaign rules additions are explained as follows:

     Experience Levels:  This is just a power ranking created to satisfy a Claydonian's ego.  The table below provides the level numbers, level titles, and additional benefits.  The level number corresponds to the number of powers a Claydonian has.  All Claydonians begin at first level with one power.  As they defeat enemies they rise in level and gain more hit points.  The hit points are cumulative thus by 5th level a Claydonian would have 65 hit points added to it's original score.  By 6th level, the Claydonian has become too powerful to be fun and it ceases to enjoy life, thus dying of "old age".  Of course, in your campaign Claydonians may be immortal.  I'll leave it up to you, but I wouldn't worry about it anyway.  I've never had a Claydonian live to see 3rd level, much less sixth.

     Taking the same power twice:  If a player opts to take the same power twice, the effects of that power are doubled.  For example, if a Claydonian takes Regeneration twice, it regains 2-12 instead of 1-6 hit points each turn. A Claydonian with Use Opponent as Missile taken twice cuts the "to hit" number it needs by half when applying that power. Claydonians can also triple their power, but this may make such Claydonians unfair opponents when certain powers are thrice increased.

     Regaining lost hit points:  During a game session, a Claydonian cannot regain lost hit points without the power of regeneration.  At the end of the game however, the surviving Claydonians, regain all lost hit points, and all sustained damage is repaired.

    Regaining Missiles:  As stated before, once a missile is thrown , it is gone for the rest  of the game.  However, a Claydonian may regain all lost missiles at the end of a game, and can take all of the losers' missiles too.

     Reshaping:  At the end of a game session, a Claydonian can be reshaped with the following restrictions:
           1.  No new missiles may be made
           2.  Missiles may not be added to body mass.
           3.  The number of limbs used for attacking may not exceed four.
           4.  The Claydonian's power may not be changed.

     Death:  When a Claydonian reached 6th level, or is defeated it is "recycled" by the gods.  If a Claydonian dries up, it is dead.  Favored Claydonians should be lovingly zip locked in a damp bag, kept cool, and guarded carefully.  Enemies have been know to microwave their opponents for revenge: in extreme cases, angry opponents have been known to use various torture machines, such as the Play-doh Barber Shop, and the Play-doh Fire Engine.  If consumed by a dog or a small child, a Claydonian is considered dead.  Note that dried Claydonians may sometime be revived by adding water, if rescued in time.

      "No Referee" rules:  To eliminate a referee from the gaming environment, Claydonia players may lock him out of the room.  There is, however, an easier way:  simply have everyone play a Claydonian.  Players not involved in the dispute make the final decision.  Another system is to have a referee who plays, and referees at the same time.  This referee makes all decisions on damage and such except when his Claydonian is involved.  In a two player game, problems are resolved by smacking the other person's Claydonian before he can get to yours.

     A Sticky Situation:  What do you do if a missile or other object sticks onto a Claydonian?  Well, you pry it off, of course.  Note, however, that the Claydonian takes damages amounting to half the total caused by the object.  If two Claydonians get stuck together, they each take 1d6 hit points of damage when separating from each other.  In all instances, round damage down to the nearest integer.

     Honoring A Claydonian Death:  Another advantage of clay characters is that when they die, you just have to dry them out, and voila!, you have a nice statue to use as a memorial, centerpiece, or clay pigeon.

There are other additionally rules which may go into effect for any individual game, as per the choice of the Claymaster and the players involved. (Power players, Jump circles, etc.) Be creative. If you like these rules, or have suggestions, write to  Chopper  I am happy to hear what you have to say.